Saving...???

I was born and brought up in typical middle class Indian family. We always had good food to eat, everyone in family will get new clothes on birthdays, and for festivals like Diwali. Once in a while a new dress for say a dance performance for annual day at school was not a surprise. But that was rare. On most occasions all participants in dance will try to manage with clothes and other things at hand. I also remember a couple of times my father totally refused to buy something that was required for such an extracurricular activity. I cried and cried but he never gave up. Being in a middle class surrounding I am sure whatever I was asking for was not expensive. So the point I want to make here is that although I had a happy childhood, my parents never bought a lot of things for me and my sister. We saw at home not to spend a lot. Save save and save.
Right after I got my first paycheck, I started saving it. That time I was not married so although I spent a lot, I saved a lot too. I got married to a husband who had exact same thing at his home. He also saw save save and save more at his home.
Now that both of us earn, not a lot yet but still comfortable to buy a lot of stuff, we are still same. Save save and save. As we are married, we can make our own decisions about everything including money. Still for each thing I feel like buying at the big mall, first I ask myself, is the price worth for the thing I want to buy. On most occasions I feel no, its too expensive. Frustrated my husband asks 'Do you want everything free?' 'Why not? If they are ready to give' I answer. Second question I ask myself 'Do I really need this?' Answer to this is always 'NO'. Third obvious question is 'Then why buy it?' So I end up not buying it. And repeat this like a 1000 times.
Then once in a while after seeing everyone around me spending, enjoying shopping, I get frustrated. Here is what happens then
What if I spend some money on shopping?
Is it going to dramatically affect the bank balance?
No
If I do not spend, will it make me rich?
No
If I buy a shirt I like at the mall, wouldn't that make me feel good?
Yes.
But then why don't I buy?
Because the pleasure I will get buying the shirt is not worth $30.
I will feel more bad for spending money than the pleasure of buying.
Will I ever change?
No
Even when I have a million dollars?
No
May be what I do for $30 I will do same for $3000.
But I won't spend.
And do what
SAVE SAVE and SAVE.